It’s quite possible that I’m committing blog suicide today. But I’m all about owning up to your life, your victories AND your messups. As big as they may be. So, here we go.
Do you know that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach?
That slow, warm uneasiness that slowly, painfully creeps up into your face, your arms, your legs and then takes over your entire body?
That feeling as if someone slapped you in the face, undressed you and put your darkest fears out in front of the open for everyone to see?
And all you can do is sit, breathe, stare?
That’s how I felt yesterday afternoon when I read this Facebook update:
Even posting it here makes my palms go sweaty, my heart beat faster and my body feel ashamed and vulnerable.
I know she’s talking about me.
I know because I’ve felt it the moment I read the first words.
I know because it suddenly opened my eyes.
I felt it crystal clear.
Intuition? I guess so.
I had lost my way.
I had lost myself.
At least, for a while I did.
I wanted to be taken seriously. I wanted to “belong”.
When I stumbled upon her website, I had only started to peak into this online business world and she was my first example of what it is you could do.
Truth be told, I had NO freaking clue and still don’t what I’m doing.
A few months ago, I had no idea how to write an eBook, how to shoot “okay” videos, how to manage email lists.
So, I guess, I looked for people I felt drawn to and tried to learn.
But I didn’t realize how much she had influenced me. Mostly because I hadn’t read her posts for months. But maybe those first few months were the most forming ones?
I’m not sure.
I didn’t realize that taking the structure was such a big deal.
I didn’t see.
I didn’t mean to.
I most certainly never meant to copy. Ever.
But I did.
Subconsciously? You bet.
But the truth is: I knew it wasn’t me. I was miserable.
I felt the need to look and appear grown up when in reality, I’m not.
I’m 25 years young, feeling like I’m still a toddler learning to take the first few steps.
I am quirky, have a thick accent, a very loud organ and I absolutely love all things fashion and glitter.
I’m me, trying to figure out what it means to live, love and be Anne-Sophie.
I’m trying to build a business that reflects my core, my mission and my dream of helping women love themselves, their bodies and their lives.
That is who I am.
I am NOT a copycat. I never was and never will be. What I write is my content, what I say are my words, what I create is my content and what I do is all me. Structure yes, copying, no.
So, I owe you an apology. A big one.
I’m hoping you believe me when I say that I most certainly didn’t mean to hurt you, make you angry, feel bad or betrayed.
I never consciously did anything to copy you. Ever. You are your own shining star. I am mine. I never wanted to be you.
I am truly sorry.
On to you: What is it you have done wrong - subconsciously or consciously – in the past?
What is it that made you feel like someone caught you doing something you shouldn’t have done or should’ve known better?
I bet you can think of a few instances and that’s OK. I have a few tips on what you can do to turn the situation around, relieve your mind and own up to your responsibility.
1. Know that whatever happened, you’re fine
We all make mistakes. We all do things we won’t be proud of a week later, a month or even years. It’s easy to let difficult, uneasy situations define you and shame you into thinking you’re worthless, a fraud or a failure. But it’s important to realize that this is not true. A mistake can’t scratch away your worthiness as a person, your enoughness and your beautiful core.
Own up to your mistake and apologize. Sincerely. Do it in person if possible as this is an easy way to opening up the conversation and resolving the conflict for all times to come.
There’s always a good side to every situation, so look at what it is you can take away, learn from it and don’t let this lesson be a waste.
4. Move on
Let it go. Leave what happened in the past and continue to go your way.
Growing. Evolving. Shining. Every single day.
Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
Have you ever done something that you were less than proud of? Share it in the comment section if you’re brave enough.