Love Yourself More with 22 Simple Questions


I live for self-care.

I breathe it.

It’s what healed my eating disorder. It’s what made me let go of my past. It’s what’s patched my broken soul back together and it’s what keeps me grounded, loved and balanced on a daily basis.

It’s a part of my life that I cannot and will not do without ever again. I’m passionate about it and I want to share the wonders of it with the world.

However, there was a time when self-care seemed elusive too me, something that was for others but certainly not for me. I had no idea how to get started or what to do and I know that you feel the same way too.

In order to lower the barrier of entry to your very own self-care practice, I’ve written down the 22 most important self-love questions.

Not all of them are easy to answer, so be patient with yourself and always show compassion. The answers may vary from day to day as you grow and evolve. Give yourself some room to breathe and dig deep into your longings, your needs and your wants and slowly start to fall in love with yourself again.

How does this make me feel?

Whatever it is that you’re doing right now, ask yourself how this makes you feel. You’ll find out so much about your state of mind and your health. Do you feel frustrated, relieved, energized, free, tired, void, excited or light? If you want to go a step further than ask yourself why it is that you feel that way. That’s not an easy question to answer and this may take some practice and a deeper relationship with the self, so don’t panic if you can’t dig up the reasons at your first attempt.

What do I need to be more at peace with myself?

Being completely at peace with yourself is a huge leap of faith to take, but oh so rewarding. This question invites you to dig deep and find out more about the needs that you have for yourself.

How can I put my needs above those of others?

I know this may sound like a radical question, but it’s so so important to realize you’re important too and you deserve attention, time and love just as much as those around you.

How could I forgive myself?

We all hold on to some things we’ve done wrong in the past. How can you let go?

What am I holding on to?

What destructive thoughts, habits and beliefs are you holding on to and why?

What fulfills me?

Finding out what fulfills you will give you a lot of ground to work with when building your self-care toolbox.

How can I change the way I’m feeling right now?

When you feel tired, lonely or lost, what is it that you could do to make yourself feel better?

How can I release my emotions right now?

Whenever you feel anger, hurt or maybe even resentment, what is it you can do to let go of these feelings? Don’t push your feelings aside, but let them wash over you like a gentle wave and then slowly but determinedly say goodbye to them.

How would self-love make me feel?

This is the chance for you to dream and dream big. How would you feel if you truly, deeply and intimately loved your entire, gorgeous self?

What is holding me back from practicing self-love?

We all have barriers that stand between ourselves and our chance to love ourselves. What are your reasons?

Which exercise delights my body?

Moving your body is a huge part of practicing self-care. Choose a workout that delights your body and makes it rejoice.

What would I like to learn from scratch?

Engaging your mind by learning a new skill is not only fun, but also a sure-fire way to happiness and fulfillment. What have you always wanted to learn, but never dared to do so? Now’s the time to start.

How would I like to show love to myself today?

Which activities, which pampering tools could you employ today to show myself that I not only value, but also love the person I am?

What would I like to get rid of in life?

Clutter, both physical and emotional, weighs you down significantly. Get rid of stuff you don’t need anymore and find out how much lighter you’ll feel.

What would relax me right now?

Being relaxed makes you a happier person and gives you strength, energy and perspective to move on with life. Take a nap, mediate, practice mindfulness or go for a run to get rid of unnecessary stress.

What interests me?

Having a general knowledge of your interests will give you a better idea on what to look for when you need something to fall back on when your life seems to go in all directions but the self-care one.

How could I spice up my life?

Shaking up your life is necessary from time to time, even if you’re a creature of habit. What would be your preferred way to make a drastic change?

What can I be grateful for?

Gratefulness is an enormously important skill to have in life and the more you hone it the better. Keep a list of experiences, people and things you’re grateful for and always have it handy.

What is my body telling me right now?

Listen to what your body is telling you and give it what it needs. When it’s hungry, feed it healthily. When it’s thirsty, give it to drink. When it longs for movement, then follow it’s instinct. When it wants you to stop, then oblige. Your body knows exactly what it needs. You just have to trust it.

How can I express my needs best?

Voicing your needs in front of others or yourself is often paired with a lot of fear and feelings of uncomfortableness. It doesn’t have to be this why. Find out how you can express what your heart is telling you in the clearest way possible. Can you do it with the help of art, writing or is speaking best for you?

What do I value about myself?

Showing open appreciation for yourself and your special talents and gifts helps to raise your self-love and self-confidence to a whole new level. Write down everything you love abut yourself.

What do I need most right now?

This is the most essential self-care question of all. What do you need? Is it love, time, space, rest, sleep, a good conversation with a friend, a girl’s night out or a good, long run in the woods?

With these 22 questions, you’ll never ever feel disconnected from your needs and your inner life again. You just have to answer them honestly and lovingly without judging yourself and your desires and you’re on the best way towards self-fulfillment and bliss.

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How Would You Like To Wake Each Morning Unabashedly Loving Yourself?

Here is the good news - total peace of mind IS an achievable state. Everything you need to live a happy and fulfilled life is already INSIDE YOU. All you need is the trigger to reawaken your natural, inner contentment. Intrigued?

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  • Pingback: A Tale of Breaking Points and Trying to Be Superwoman


    Great questions – it really is so important to maintain the practice of checking in with oneself – these questions are a good way of reminding myself of that.

    • Anne-Sophie

      It’s true. I find that sometimes it’s super helpful to have a framework that helps to dig deeper and dive into your inner world.